What’s up, diary?
You
know, diary, you were one of my Christmas presents. But there are certain risks
involved in asking for a diary. Everybody knows that it’s against the law for
soon-to-be 13 year-old boys to keep a diary. The law book says, “humans of the
male gender shall not record in a diary any thoughts or opinions, but instead
shall dedicate their time to building cars and watching football. On the other
hand, women of the female variety may happily possess a diary and therein
describe kisses and secret thoughts and draw little red, hearts.” Page 32.
But
I’m breaking the law. Actually, I broke the law last year too when I was in
sixth grade. Because that’s when I had my first diary. This year I asked for
another diary for Christmas. I guess that makes me a repeat-offender. My other
diary is hidden under a hat. First I put it in my shoe. But it didn’t fit. Then
I stuffed it into my pillow-case. But I thought I might get a concussion when I
went to sleep. So now it lives in a hat. I think it’s pretty happy there. When
I asked for my new diary, I was afraid that Mom and Dad would turn me over to
the police or something if they knew the truth. So on my Christmas list I
called it an “important homework assistance device.”
“Oh,
so you want a lamp for your desk,” Mom guessed.
“Uh,
no,” I said. “I want an ... um ... an ... empty book. With white paper.”
“An
empty book??”
“I
can’t say any more,” I said, and zipped my lips to show her it was a secret.
Then
Mom wanted to take my temperature.
This
is what I wished for, besides you, diary:
•
a trip around the world
•
a live alligator
•
a white tuxedo
•
a hockey video game
•
a lawbook with all the laws in it
•
a whistle
And
this is what I got, besides you, diary:
•
a bus-trip to go see my cousins Anna
and Sophia
•
an inflatable crocodile
•
a woolly hat with a reindeer on it
•
two hockey video games (because Mom
didn’t know that Dad had bought one and vice versa)
•
a painted pine cone
•
a whistle
It’s a good thing I don’t have any
brothers or sisters. I probably would’ve just gotten the woolly hat.
Ciao for now,
brown cow!
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